Hello Valentine

What If You Speak Different [Love] Languages?

communication-web1015376_1280Love is definitely a major prosperity item–could you ever have too much love? Sometimes how we feel is hard to express to that certain someone or you have trouble communicating. There might be a reason for that! Have you heard of the five love languages? They are based on a book by Gary Chapman and the idea is that we all express love in one of five different ways.

On the flip side, we can also appreciate how love is shown to us differently depending on what our main love language is.

It only makes sense that if you speak one language and your partner a different one, issues can come up and we don’t feel appreciated and loved.

Let’s take a look at what the five love languages are, how you can determine what both yours and your partner’s love language is and what you can do with this new-found knowledge.

The Five Love Languages

The five love languages are gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Let’s look at each of them and an example of how love can be expressed in this language.


Gifts are physical items of appreciation. They can, but don’t have to be expensive. Jewelry is the perfect example for expressing this particular love language. Go ahead and buy that pair of earrings for your spouse’s birthday, or grab some flowers and a cute stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day. How about tickets to a favorite play or concert?

Quality Time

Here’s the best way to show you care is to spend quality time with your significant other. Go for a walk, have coffee and a chat at your local coffee shop or start taking dance lessons together. Any way you can find to spend time together will work. This could even be driving to and from work together, talking about your day as you drive.

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Words of affirmation may sound fancy, but it simply means telling your partner you care and giving compliments. Tell her she looks pretty in the new dress or that you love her new haircut. Tell your favorite guy that he’s rocking those jeans or how much you appreciate that he changed the oil in your car. Use your words to show your love.

Acts of Service

Acts of service means you do something for your loved one to show you care. This could be a big gesture like painting the house while your wife is away for a few days, but it can also be the little things. Like making sure the coffee maker is all filled up and set to go in the morning, or taking out the trash. Cooking a favorite meal is another wonderful act of service.

Physical Touch

Thands-web 63743_1280he last love language is physical touch. I’m sure you already guessed this is all about physical affection. Hugs and kisses are the perfect way to show your love, but even simple acts like holding hands or putting your arm around your spouse as you walk around is the perfect public show of affection and it won’t go unnoticed.

Your Love Language and Your Partner’s Love Language

As you were reading through the examples of the different love languages above, you probably recognized one or two that mean more than the others to you. Yes, you may like gifts, but quality time or physical affection may be a lot more meaningful to you.

Go back and read through them again with your partner in mind. How does he show affection? It can be an eye opening experience, if the two of you speak different love languages. If your language is words of affirmation and his is acts of service, you may be disappointed that he doesn’t tell you often how much he loves you or how cute you look. Instead, he may show his love by making sure your car has gas and he gets up early to fix you coffee and eggs before you head into work.

Realizing that there are different ways to show love and affection helps us recognize how the other one shows their love.

Expressing Love and Romance In The Right “Language”

From there, you can take it a step further. Adjust how you express love and romance to be more in line with your partner’s love language. If he’s all about acts of service, cook him a nice meal, or make sure the toys in the living room are picked up so the two of you can relax in the living room after the kids go to bed.

Give it a try and see if speaking several love languages and paying attention to how your partner wants and needs to be shown affection doesn’t strengthen your relationship and marriage

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About Karen

Karen Karsten, CPCC, CAC, has had several business careers, in government, finance, retail and publishing. Each career was a building block that helped her create the life she has now as a coach, writer and executive director of Rich Chicks and Creative Principle of Think You Can LLC.

Her companies, Think You Can (www.thinkyoucan.net) and Rich Chicks (www.richchicks.org) both explore the magic of prosperity and creating clarity about life values. Karen has total faith in the magic of belief. Notice how that works either way: belief of magic, magic of belief. Magic is there—in you, too. Take a moment right now and honor the magic in you.

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