Friendships are a source of both joy and heartache.
Women have a greater need for friendships than men do. Our friendships run deeper. Men like to “do things” with friends. Women want to “know things” about each other. We like to do things together too, but we want to talk while we do it! We want to be real friends, who trust each other and are there for each other. Friends are part of your total prosperity, enriching your life in so many ways.
Girls are naturally drawn to each other. A girl’s first experience with heartache may have been over a lost “best friend” rather than a “boy friend”. When friendships are lost, women grieve. We do not just grieve for the friendship, but also for the secrets shared, the trust given and the acceptance enjoyed. If betrayed, the pain runs deep. No one can cause you more harm than someone you have deeply trusted.
Your best friend in school knew who you were afraid of and who you secretly liked. She knew you still kept your Barbies in your room and that you cried for a week when Shaun Cassidy got married. I’ll bet you remember a time when a friend you trusted proved not to be a trustworthy secret keeper. It cut like a knife and that is when it starts – the creation of the wall and mask—your public facade.
The “you” you are willing to let the world see. You don’t want to risk letting people see the bad stuff, because if they never see the real you, you will be accepted and enjoy great friendships. Yes, we hide behind our constructed reality, thinking we are better off, but we lose so much. If no one knows you are struggling, you deny them the chance to comfort you and keep you accountable.
If you are being accepted by people because of a facade you present, deep down you know it is only that disguise being accepted. The real you will be terribly alone and you know it. That is why so many women you envy for their seeming perfection are struggling with deep insecurities, afraid to shine their light out in the world. One of the many teachings in Monetary Identity is to know who you are and what you bring to the table of relationships.
How do we start?
However your masquerade started and was reinforced, you need to look at how to take the mask off and start to be real. Before allowing others to truly see us, we must accept who we are. If you are not comfortable with the real you, you will always hide behind walls. Monetary Identity is a great way to begin and continue that process. Love to really see you there!
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