7 Tips to Stop Bad-Mouthing Yourself

Is this you? You have a voice in your head. It talks all the time, but you don’t always hear it because you’ve heard it so often it’s easy to ignore. This voice points out your flaws and mistakes. This is negative self-talk—bad-mouthing yourself, destroying your self-confidence, and sabotaging your success.

Negative self-talk gets in your head, courtesy of earlier experiences and negative input from people who don’t have your best interests at heart.  Once there, it is a bad song playing over and over, often in the background, until you quit trying. Your dreams fade and you find yourself not doing much at all.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You can take your life back and put an end to the negative self-talk once and for all. Try these things:

Find the Calm

First of all, when you’re overly emotional and overwhelmed mentally you can’t combat anything. Find a quiet place and sit down. Bring your attention to your breath, letting go of thoughts and sensations, returning to the breath again and again until you can reach a peaceful place internally. Even a minute or two of mindful breathing can help. Journaling also helps a lot by getting those thoughts outside yourself where you can actually see it.

Listen to What You’re Thinking

Don’t avoid the negative thought. Listen to it. Really listen. What is it saying? Try writing the thought or thoughts down. Whose voice does it sound like? There is a committee in your head, very willing to sabotage your confidence in yourself. Meet the committee head-on!

Dig into the Root Cause

What does this thought represent? Where did it come from? Is this from an expectation you put on yourself at some point, or does it come from someone else entirely?

Drop the Unreasonable Expectation

Perfection is a killer. It stops you dead in your tracks, keeping you from finishing or starting things. Are you trying too hard to be perfect in some regard? Is there a more reasonable expectation you can put on yourself in the place of this thought?  Fear of failure

Shift the Thought

What is the positive side to this thought? For example, if you’re worried about doing something new, remind yourself of a time when you tackled a new project and it turned out well. How good did that feel?

Habits are Key

If this thought is one which comes around often, what is a new thought or thoughts you want to replace it with? Write it down. How can you make this thought a habit? The more you react in a new way to an old stimulus, the quicker a new habit is formed, and the old reaction disappears.

Just Stop

In the end, the way to get rid of a negative thought is to consciously put a halt to it. Now that you are aware of the negative thoughts, you can work on shifting your thinking. Give the Committee an eviction notice and tell yourself to stop when the idea comes up again. Remind yourself of your replacement thought and use it.

Ask yourself “Would I talk to anyone else the way I talk to myself?” Be your own best friend and talk kindly to yourself!

Build Confidence in Yourself One Day at a Time

Many of us have many goals and dreams we envision for our lives, but without self-confidence, we’ll get nowhere with them.  Building confidence in yourself will give you the motivation you need to achieve everything you want out of life.
Here are three exercises you can try each day to gain the self-confidence you need.
Start a journal. A confidence-boosting journal should contain positive things you did for that day. Most people accomplish a lot of little things in the span of 24 hours, but don’t really think of them as achievements.  As you look back on your entries of positive accomplishments, it will give you motivation to achieve even more.
List your goals in baby steps.  Instead of setting a goal to accomplish the whole thing at once, try breaking it down in tiny steps that need to meet each day. Each time you get to cross off the little steps, you gain more confidence in yourself and you’ll empower yourself to reach the next step until you’ve achieved the primary goal.
Read inspirational quotes.  Search the Internet or purchase a book with lots of inspirational quotes on confidence or self-esteem. Read one of the quotes daily and see if you can apply it to your life throughout the day.
 Here’s a little pocket journal you can fold up and tuck into your pocket or purse!

Self confidence Affirmation Journal